Saturday 9: Spooky

Saturday 9: Spooky

1. Does anything about Halloween “spook” you? Clowns. Of course clowns spook me out on a normal day too, so I'm not sure if that counts or not.

2. What is the favorite costume you have ever worn for Halloween? The 1950's Poodle skirt outfit my mom made for me when I was about 10 or 12 years-old. She made the pink skirt with the black poodle for me. I had the shirt with the "bobby socks" and saddle shoes. We pulled my hair up into a pony tail (nothing all that new for me then or now to be honest with you) and I was a very convincing 1950's girl.

3. What is your favorite thing about Halloween? Candy

4. What one topic is (or was) the most painful to discuss with your parents? Why? Every topic that has never been broached with them - such as every time I was abused, misused or assaulted. Of which they don't know about most of them, either because I didn't tell them or because they ignored the signs because it was easier for them.

5. What was the happiest day of your life? Do you think you'll ever top it? I don't know that I've had one happiest day of my life. I've had many happy days but none that stand out or jump out as "this was the happiest day of my life".

6. What animal would you like to be able to communicate with? All of them.

7. In what way do you come nearest to perfection (as you define it)? I will never come close to perfection as I define it. I am a perfectionist and I have OCD pretty severe. Perfection is not in the cards for me. It simply is not anything close to attainable.

8. Do you have any recurring nightmares? I have more recurring nightmares than I can count. Some are based on fact. Some simply have terrifying people from my past in them. Either way, they all revolve around my PTSD and cause me to wake in a cold sweat with a migraine.

9. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be and why? I would make my mother more involved. My father less afraid of me and what others would think of me being a daddy's girl, since again mom was self-absorbed and neglectful, once I hit puberty. I would get them both to leave the cult year before my little brother ever came along because it effected me too. I would make them both more perceptive and less concerned with what people would think if they took me to a child psychologist. I would make them believe me when I went to them about the abuse and molestation. And those are just for a start...

Saturday 9: #6 I Think We're Alone Now

 

Saturday 9: I Think We're Alone Now

1. What celebrity in a fantasy would you like to be alone with? Vincent D'Onfrio *yum* Christopher Meloni *double yum* (Notice a pattern here?

2. Have ever dated a good friend? I'm married to my best friend. Does that count?

3. What is the most embarrassing song that you like? At the moment, probably anything Miley Cyrus.

4. What is your favorite tear jerker movie? Steel Magnolias, Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood, the Princess and the Frog (I "ugly cried" at this movie.)

5. What about yourself makes you least secure? The unknown

6. Do you believe in destiny? It changes from day to day. Some days I believe in the clandestine "destiny is preordained and can't be changed too much" theory. Other days I believe in the "we make our own destiny" theory.

7. What 'issue' do you think your opinion is so right about that you end up trying to sway others to your point of view? Autism is not a curable "disease" like Jenny McCarthy seems to believe. It is a biological, neurological disorder. There are treatments that can make it either better or worse; however, there is not now nor has there ever been a cure. That woman just gets my panties in a bunch as I've already stated.

8. What are 5 things you don't care about?

1. I don't care how much fat etc. is in my food or what else is in my food for that matter. I eat what sounds good, regardless of the rest of it.
2. I don't care how much pain it might cause, how big an inconvience it may be for me to help someone else...I will do it. I help others at a sacrifice of self - always. It's the way I've always been.
3. I don't care what the sacrifice is that I have to give for my children, I will give it. The come before me - always.
4. I don't care what the reaction of my "neighbors" will be once they lose their Section 8 housing assistance for assaulting Pruny, threatening the life of Cookie Monster and the little Cookies, and terrorizing the neighborhood. They have egged houses, assaulted neighbors, slandered neighbors. (Did you know that Cookie Monster is a pedofile and I am horribly abusive to my babies!? He isn't but according to Beep-Beep {That's what Pruny and I call her because she used to turn tricks out of the house and her John's would "beep-beep" when they arrived.} he is. But that's all another post.) They need to go and I don't care that it will hurt when they do.
5. I don't care that NTD had to give up custody of Oatmeal Raisin. I don't care that the Cow (NTD's mother) will never see, play head games with or abuse my little boy again. I don't care that they miss his Karate promotions, his report cards, and his Lego creations. I don't care that they hurt because I gave them 6 years to get their shit in gear to be a productive members of Oatmeal Raisin's life and they didn't want to be. So I don't care what they feel anymore because I tried.

9. Have you ever been in a situation where you weren't sure if you were seducing or being seduced? I'm sure I have. Can't think of it off the top of my head though.

Saturday 9: #5 When We Was Fab

 

Saturday 9: When We Was Fab

1. Is there a blog as far as its appearance goes that you think is the most fabulous?

2. Do you like the look and the contents of your blogs? My blog is okay. I can't seem to get it "just right". There's still something missing. I just wish I could figure out what it was.

3. Have you ever thought what would happen to your blog in case you died? I can't say that I have. Although I will now. Thanks for that, Sam!

4. Has any particular blogger had a great impact on how you set up and write your blog? Jennifer over at BPD in OKC has had a great impact on the fact that I try to be as open and honest as possible. Many blogs have had an impact on the set up of my blog. Mainly because I "steal" things from blogs as I see them and try them out. If I like them, they stay. If I don't like them, I pitch 'em. As far as writing goes, I only know how to write like me. I tried to write a paper for a girl in high school once and make it sound more like her and less like me. I failed miserablly. She was busted and failed. The teacher later told me that she knew I had written it but couldn't prove it. She just knew my writing style well enough to know it was me. Oy. So I write what I know, me.

5. Would you want a fellow blogger to give you suggestions or criticism of what you write? Sure! Suggest. Critize. Whatever. The point of my blog is to release my demons but if I can help others while helping myself, great. And if someone else can help me become more effective in helping others through my writing etc, who am I to turn that help away? That would be foolish.

6. Is the number of visitors each day to your blog important to you? I'm not narcisstic by nature; however, the number of visitors I get each day is a nice little boost to my self esteem. I'm not going to lie, it's nice. So my life doesn't revolve around that number but it's nice to feel loved, ya know?

7. What percentage of your readers do you think actual comment? Not very many. Which stinks because I love get readers and comments alike.

8. Do you have a favorite blogger who does the memes that you participate in? Jennifer over at BPD in OKC does a few of them. I tend to do a lot of them because with the Cookies life gets pretty crazy, especially with all the appointments, so sometimes it's easiest to get my weekly purge out with the help of the Saturday 9 or the Friday Fill-In or Wednesday Wishcasting.

9. How often do you update your blog/site and why? I try to update without the help of a meme at least once a week. That doesn't always happen, of course. But I try.

Saturday 9: #4 Call Me

Saturday 9: Call Me

1. Who is someone that phones you routinely that you never seem to be up to talk to, but you are not ready to push them out of your life? This person used to be Bonnie. She would call and spew her drama and useless Yahoo.com "medical diagnosis" at me while she denied my real world from a medical doctor diagnosis. She would refuse to follow AJ's rules and guidelines. Tell him I abused him. And generally just cause me stress and unwanted drama, as of September/October 2009 she has been *pushed*. Now I am drama-free...at least Bonnie-drama-free anyway.

2. What is something that effects you deeply, to your core, no matter your mood or what else is going on in your life? AJ. No matter what kind of day I am having. No matter how good or how bad. He has the power to kill it in one fowl swoop. Likewise (but very very very rarely) he has the power to make my day when all is right with the world and the stars in the heavens align.

3. Tell us of something that relaxes you and always makes you happy. A massage from an actual massage therapist who is skilled in giving massages to Fibro patients. *ah heaven*

4. If you could take the train from anywhere to anywhere, where would 'anywhere' be? Anywhere = Ireland (always)

5. If you could look into the future, how far down the road would you like to see? 10 years? 100 years? A million? 10 years - I need to know that we are going to be okay. That Alex and I are going to find a way to make it through. That Wyatt and Cooper are going to come through to the other side unscathed by everything AJ has going on. That all 3 of them are going to come through to the other side unscathed by everything I have going on in my head and everything I'm trying to work through.

6. Did you do your shopping online for this Christmas, how did it go? Did things come in on time? Any significant failures? ...and if you didn't, will you consider trying online shopping sometime this year? I shop online every once in a great while. Usually only from Amazon.com and usually only if I have a gift certificate.

7. What people or projects are worth your time, money or effort? People: Friends and family are always worth my time, money and effort. I will go to the ends of the Earth for them. Projects: I have adult ADHD so I tend to start projects that don't get finished. If it's for someone, it's worth it. If I really like it, it's worth it. If it's just plain interesting enough to hold my attention for more than five seconds, it's worth it.

8. Think back when you were in high school. Are you proud of the way you dressed, or do you wish you could go back and change it all? I'm proud of the way I dressed. I was true to myself, which is all I wanted out of me and the high school experience.

9. Do any of your friends, family or co-workers know about your blogs? For those that do, did you tell them or have they stumbled upon it by themselves? Alex knows about my blog. Sassy, one of my nearest and dearest friends also knows about my blog. Aside from them a few people I seem to have picked up along the way know about it but that's it.

Saturday 9: You Shook Me

 Saturday 9: You Shook Me

1. What celebrity would you just want to shake some sense into? Jenny McCarthy (see #6 for more info)

2. What do you think comes after death? I think the Afterlife comes after death. I hope that part of my Heaven is my Granny's farm where I grew up as a kid. I loved it there and I know that I could find some peace.

3. What is the first book that you can remember reading by yourself as a child? I don't remember the title. It was about a kitten and her mother. They go shopping and the kitten finds a doll that she falls in love with and has to have.

4. What was the first rock concert that you attended? This is where my nerdiness shows through...I've yet to attend a rock or music concert of any kind. Although Alex took me to see Bill Engvall a few summers ago. He's hilarious. But no music for me. =(

5. If you were to suddenly become famous, would you choose a stage name? If yes, what would it be? I have a nome de plume (however that's spelled) all picked out if I ever get the guts to write a book and then submit it to a publisher. Does that count?

6. What is the one thing that you wish the media would stop talking about? Sadly enough I am not up-to-date on my current events so I don't really have one to complain about. What I could stand to never hear about again though are these celebrity parents, like Jenny McCarthy, who are telling the rest of us "everyday parents" that we can cure our Autistic child(ren). That just gets my panties all in a major bunch.

7. If you could be part of any band, which one would it be and who would you be and why? Rascal Flatts. I would just be myself though and since myself can't carry a tune in a bucket I would do just about any and all other creative job they asked of me. Because creative things I can definitely do.

8. Do you live close to your immediate family members? If not, how far away are they? My sister lives 3 doors down. My Mom lives less than 5 minutes away, depending on traffic. My one sister lives across the street. And my in-laws live less than 10 minutes away, again depending on traffic. So yeah, we all live pretty close together. I like it that way. It helps in Emergencies. Its great for snow days to have my sister, 2 nephews and a niece just 3 doors down.

9. Last seasonal question (promise): What did you do on New Year's Eve? I fell asleep at 8:30 pm with Cooper. Leaving poor Alex alone with Miss Sue and Zeus and the Wii. Oh what a party animal I am.

Saturday 9: #2 Sam's Last Stand of 2009

Saturday 9: Sam's Last Stand of 2009

1. What did you think of 2009? I can't believe it's over. It feels like it just started and yet here we are...about to start over again.

2. What do you think was the news story of the year? I would like to say that it's something scientific and/or meaningful to the world at large; however, it's likely going to be the fact that Michael Jackson died. That's not the news story of the year for me but I can't think of anything else right now...so it'll do.

3. What happened this year that you never want to hear another word about?  I don't remember. See? I've already forgotten. Hopefully everyone else involved has forgotten by now too.

4. What was your favorite song of 2009? Okay, this is going to sound...crazy but it would have to be Mylie Cyrus' "The Climb". It just fits me the best right now, which is how I judge most songs anymore.

5. What did you accomplish this year? I started seeing a pain management doctor for my Fibromyalgia, which is huge. I found a medication which helps with my Fibromyalgia. I stood up for myself with a bad therapist and with the help of AJ's therapist I found a new one. I cut off contact with Bonnie and Clyde (long story which will amount to an even longer post - it's coming down the line I promise) and their crazy counterparts. Those are the biggies.

6. Did you learn anything new this year? I learned I'm stronger than I thought when it comes to dealing with others.

7. What are you looking forward to in the new year? Change - my change not President Obama's.

8. What are your plans for New Year's Eve? Stay home and hang-out with Alex while AJ, Wyatt and Cooper sleep.

9. What's the best thing you ever did on a New Year's Eve? Stay home and hang-out with Alex while AJ, Wyatt and Cooper sleep.

Saturday 9 ~ #1 Don't Talk to Strangers

 Saturday 9: Don't Talk to Strangers

1. Tell us about a night that you spent with someone who was a stranger, yet by the end of the night you were very close. He wasn't exactly a stranger, persae. I knew him - just not particularly well. We worked together and he went out with everyone to the bars sometimes but not very often. Then one night he showed up at this crazy impromptu party we had. I was tipsy and pretty much completely stoned...yeah, we knew each other pretty well by the end of the night. (Okay, that's about as far from "blunt and honest" as I can get. Let's try this again...) We talked and shared life stories. I don't remember his. Then we made out. He wanted more. I didn't. At least I don't think I did, either way, I passed out on his lap in a Lazy-Boy recliner. He just rocked me to sleep the rest of the night. It was...interesting.

2. When is the last time you rode the bus? One of my last days as a senior in high school. Wow, that feels like ages ago...

3. Describe the last time you stood up for a cause. Stood up as in formal, public protest? Never, unfortunately. Stood up as in one-on-one with another person? Pretty often, actually. I feel the need to speak up about the injustices of the world as I see them, which tends to get me into trouble.

4. What is something you would like to do, but you're afraid of the risk(s)? I would just love to out my adoptive mother for being the self-centered, neglectful, spiteful, abusive, sociopath that she is. Blog about everything I have been through (hopefully I will eventually - other wise this blog is pretty pointless). Stand up to my older sister. The list goes on and on...

5. What would you most like to accomplish before the year is over? Well, considering there are only 11 days left in the year I'm not hoping for anything major. How about completely potty training Wyatt? Or pulling the Holidays off without a major hitch? Surviving the Holidays without any massive panic attacks? Or surviving the Holidays needing only 2-3 Ativan rather than 5+? Those are about as good as it's going to get right now. (And look, I even mentioned one of the kids!) =)

6. Name something you'll miss about 2009. The fact that AJ will never again be 9, Wyatt will never again be 3 and Cooper will never again be 1. They keep growing up. Even though I keep begging them (well, some of them anyway) to stop.

7. If you could invent something, what would it be? Something that would make me rich but still unknown to the universe at large. =)

8. What first got you started blogging? Peer pressure. "All the cool people are doing it." Okay, not that peer pressure exactly but all my friends and some of my family were starting blogs. I needed a Blogger account to comment on a blog I liked and it just went from there.

9. How did you find this meme? From a blog of a blog of a blog. Isn't that how it usually goes? ;)

(Technically, this is the Saturday 9 meme from this past Saturday, December 12th. I happen to love questions and these ones seemed pretty good and some are sort of relevant to the purpose of my blog so I figured...why not do a bit of a time warp? ;)(lol)