Saturday, January 2, 2010

Sunday Stealing #1: What If

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? My ex-husband, MN, hands down without question. If I'm lucky he'll be standing close to his mother (whom I also hate - with good reason {beyond her being my ex-mother-in-law} she was a big part of the terror and abuse I suffered during my first marriage) when I blow him up so I can kill two psychopaths/sociopaths with one button.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be? Fergie. I cannot stand her. I don't know why but there's just something about her that grates on my nerves. Her music will disappear from existance too, right?

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? Depending on the day of the week, my big sister, Angel. She does big sister things that just drive me batty and sometimes I'd love nothing more than to knock her out. Except I can't punch for crap so there really isn't any point.

4. What is your favorite cheese? I like them all. I don't think I've met one yet that I didn't like. Oh! Brie! Brie is my favorite with all other cheeses as a close second.

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make? Either a Philly cheese steak - the way Steak Escape makes them. (Not the way they actually make them in Philly. Sorry PA peeps.) Or an Italian BMT at SubWay. Which ever one I'm eating, I can promise that it's all but drowning in black olives and banana peppers. Damnit, now I'm craving SubWay!

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice? I've been thinking about this since last night. My OCD compelling me to pick the "perfect" guy. (Huh? Again with my use of the word "perfect". Kind of makes you think, huh?) Then it hit me...Vincent D'Onfrio. *sigh*

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick? I had to think about this one too. I mean these are important decisions - I only get one night! So I finally decided that Brad Paisley is the man. Yum.

8. Now that you’ve slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it? Art supplies. Things for SweetPea because he really doesn't have anything yet. Whatever looked fun at the Dollar General.

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Ireland

10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do? Eat - I'm having all this sex and going shopping and whatnot but there hasn't been any eating!!! I should hope after Vincent and Brad - not even taking the shopping and jet-setting hither and yon into account - I'm probably starving! Then after I eat, I'll shop! =)

11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is…? I don't believe an angel would offer me alcohol. But I would gladly accept the lifetime supply of Coke she offers me. Everyone knows caffeine is far more important than alcohol anyway.

12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there? I would go to Summer 1998 and explain everything that will be lost etc if I go through with my "Save MN" plan. I would shake my 17/18 year old self and explain that he can't be saved because he is a complete sociopath, as is his mother.

13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? My first rule is: This is my island; GET OFF! I would only allow my friends and family on the island. I have no interest in building my own society so I'm not going to; at least not with strangers and such. My friends and family will have to learn to work together in order for us to survive but that's as close to a society as we will ever get.

14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what’s the premise? It would probably be a reality television show. I just like to watch television though not create it so I would let someone else have this honor. Then I would just enjoy their creation.

15.What is your favorite curse word? Fuck

16.One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? First I scream, "What the fuck?!" (See? I told you it was my favorite word. lol) Then I try and find a way to get rid of them so I can go back to sleep.

17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the item? I don't know that I could choose just one. But since I have to, I would probably grab our extra/backup harddrive because it has nearly all of our pictures from the past decade on it. So at least we would still have those.

18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour? I would enjoy one last meal with my nearest and dearest. Have you noticed how a lot of my stuff revolves around food? lol Its a family trait. If there is food somehow involved, we will suffer through just about any situation. =)

19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What’s it gonna be? Invisibility. I'd give just about anything to disappear right now.

20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? As crazy as this will sound, the half hour right before I got married to my first husband, MN. Simply because I remember my Granny helping me to get ready and I remember having my picture taken with her. I miss her like crazy so I would relive that half hour.

21.You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? My entire abusive and terrifying relationship/marriage to MN. Except for the half hour in #20. How that one half-hour would make any sense at all without the rest of the time/memories to go along with it, I don't know. But these are my imaginary answers and I can do what I want to with them. ;)

22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin’! What country are you going to live in now? Ireland. (And let's be honest here, they are just jealous that I'm doing everything they've always either A) wanted to do... B) wished about... C) seriously considered... Or D) had all set up but chickened out of.) Judgmental pricks!

23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be? I'm good with being banned from all the bars in the know, since I don't drink alcohol and all. Well, I guess you don't know that about me yet. I don't drink alcohol. I quit except for special occasions when I was married to MN because of the effect it was having on our lives and family. Then when I was put on Zoloft and nursing Cooper in 2008 I just gave it up altogether. Now that I'm on a whole slew of meds for Fibromyalgia that forbid me to drink rather than the strongly worded "you really shouldn't drink but whatever" warning; I just quit entirely. So yeah, I don't drink alcohol. But I drink Coke like its water and going out of style. =)

24. Hopefully you didn’t mention this in the super-powers question…. If you did, then we’ll just expand on that. Check it out… Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like “Dude, check it out…I can FLOAT!”? My sisters, which includes my actual sister, Angel, and my sisters-in-law; Jennie, Elle and Becca. Oh, and Barbie, too. After all, she's nearly a sister.

25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life? John Lennon. Then I would get him a restraining order to protect him from suffering any further damage of being around Yoko. Although I'm thinking a stronger political leader may have been a better choice. * shrug*

26. The Celestial Gates of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? My Granny. She was my mother for all intents and purposes. Even though I had a "mother", she was...shall we say less than effective and less than emotionally plugged-in. I miss my Granny more than words could ever possibly express. She passed away in her sleep very suddenly in May 2002 and I changed forever on that day. To have her back...would mean so much to me.

27. What’s your theme song? I don't have a theme song but I'm slowly putting together a soundtrack over time. Someday, after I've dug out my purple folder that holds the lyrics to all the songs of my rather lengthy sound track from whatever blackhole it seems to have fallen into I'll have to post it up here.


Hootin' Anni said...

#10....great answer. Love it.

Mine's here...Right here

I am Harriet said...

I don't get the whole Lady Gaga thing myself.

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