Monday, December 14, 2009

A little more about me

I have many diagnoses; most stem from the tales you will read here. One is O.C.D. Grammar is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. Here, I will try to ignore it as much as possible. I apologize in advance but I feel that the purging and actual sharing are more important than proper coma placement etc. Although I will still try to remember to use spell check - some things simply cannot be helped.

I am almost 30 years old. I have been married to the Alex, husband #2, for nearly 7 years. I have known him for nearly 9 years. Together Alex and I have three children: AJ, Wyatt and Cooper. I am a work-at-home mom as a freelance writer. I have a dog, Boxer/American Bulldog mix, Miss Sue, and a cat, tortis shell, Sneezey.

Let's see. I love the colors blue and pink, fruits and veggies, drawing and writing (pretty much anything artistic), my children, my family, my Crackberry, and a bunch of other things that I can't think of at the moment. I love to journal the old fashioned way with actual bound paper journals and pens but blogging works out better for me because I can type much faster than I can write and typing tends to be easier on my arthritis. Plus, I happen to like the narcisstic aspect of it.

I'm really excited about this blog. Most of the posts on this blog are likely to be very sensitive in nature, thereby making the blog as a whole seem rather negative. I opted to place the warning in the beginning to attempt to give some sort of heads-up to my readers. I don't want anyone blind-sighted or triggers by the topics and/or the nature of my blog. I am hoping to keep things sort of light every once in a while, too. I've noticed a few memes around that I look interesting so I'll probably join in with those to try and keep in touch with the lighter side of life. =)

I won't be posting photos of myself or my family because I'm trying to keep this blog as anonymous as possible. I have been debating posting photos of my drawings and paintings, etc. I've never posted and/or shared those with anyone before. Not even my best friend or sister.

I don't want this to be all doom and gloom, woe is me. I want it to be honest, even if it hurts. There are things that happen, things that have happened, things that are happening now...that I want to share. Things that I need to share before they consume me. At the same time, I am absolutely terrified to open up for the very same reason...I'm terrified if I open up, it won't be a release at all and I will be consumed by it but only after its all been released.

So I intend to have fun. Do some memes - Friday Fill-Ins, Six Word Saturday, Saturday 9 - that sort of thing. Maybe share a crazy story from shopping etc. Mainly though, Washing will be for just that - washing. I will not stand in the ocean of salt water that washes over my open (metaphorical) wounds and keep my mouth shut any longer. Even if the only thing I do is to voice my pain in the" silent"  safety of this blog, then so be it.

My hope is that between the medications, my therapist and this blog/purging I will finally be able to wash the salt from my wounds and allow them to heal. Even if that leaves me with horrible scars, I'm okay with that.I would rather live the rest of my life covered in scars than open, seeping wounds.

Who I am.

I am Dymphna. A grand-daughter/daughter. A daughter. A friend. A sister. A wife. A mother.

The last two won't come up here much. And yes, there is a distinction between the first two. Those are the chipper, happy and Dr. Seuss things; I am.

I also claim other titles. Some are harmless in appearance, until you hear the story behind them.

I am Dymphna. A daughter. A friend. A sister. A wife. A mother.

This blog is my story. In part. In its entirety. Only time will tell.
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This blog contains my inner most thoughts on all things in my life, my heart and head. It is my goal to someday purge my soul of all the stains and heal the wounds I've been carrying with me for nearly my entire life.

There will be times when I will discuss triggering topics. If these will be difficult for you, I want you be warned now and not blindsided later.